Saturday, May 24, 2008

The White Snake


A long time ago there lived a king who was famed for his wisdomthrough all the land. Nothing was hidden from him, and it seemedas if news of the most secret things was brought to him throughthe air. But he had a strange custom, every day after dinner,when the table was cleared, and no one else was present, a trustyservant had to bring him one more dish. It was covered, however,and even the servant did not know what was in it, neither didanyone know, for the king never took off the cover to eat of ituntil he was quite alone.This had gone on for a long time, when one day the servant, whotook away the dish, was overcome with such curiosity that hecould not help carrying the dish into his room. When he hadcarefully locked the door, he lifted up the cover, and saw a whitesnake lying on the dish. But when he saw it he could not denyhimself the pleasure of tasting it, so he cut off a little bitand put it into his mouth. No sooner had it touched his tonguethan he heard a strange whispering of little voices outside hiswindow. He went and listened, and then noticed that it wasthe sparrows who were chattering together, and telling oneanother of all kinds of things which they had seen in the fieldsand woods. Eating the snake had given him power of understandingthe language of animals.Now it so happened that on this very day the queen lost her mostbeautiful ring, and suspicion of having stolen it fell upon thistrusty servant, who was allowed to go everywhere. The kingordered the man to be brought before him, and threatened withangry words that unless he could before the morrow point outthe thief, he himself should be looked upon as guilty and executed.In vain he declared his innocence, he was dismissed with no betteranswer.In his trouble and fear he went down into the courtyard and tookthought how to help himself out of his trouble. Nowsome ducks were sitting together quietly by a brook and takingtheir rest, and, whilst they were making their feathers smoothwith their bills, they were having a confidential conversationtogether. The servant stood by and listened. They were tellingone another of all the places where they had been waddlingabout all the morning, and what good food they had found, and onesaid in a pitiful tone, something lies heavy on my stomach, as Iwas eating in haste I swallowed a ring which lay under thequeen's window. The servant at once seized her by the neck,carried her to the kitchen, and said to the cook, here is a fineduck, pray, kill her. Yes, said the cook, and weighed her inhis hand, she has spared no trouble to fatten herself, and hasbeen waiting to be roasted long enough. So he cut off her head,and as she was being dressed for the spit, the queen's ring wasfound inside her.The servant could now easily prove his innocence, and the king,to make amends for the wrong, allowed him to ask a favor, andpromised him the best place in the court that he could wish for.The servant refused everything, and only asked for a horse andsome money for traveling, as he had a mind to see the worldand go about a little. When his request was granted heset out on his way, and one day came to a pond, where he sawthree fishes caught in the reeds and gasping for water. Now,though it is said that fishes are dumb, he heard them lamentingthat they must perish so miserably, and, as he had a kind heart,he got off his horse and put the three prisoners back into thewater. They leapt with delight, put out their heads, and criedto him, we will remember you and repay you for saving us.He rode on, and after a while it seemed to him that he heard avoice in the sand at his feet. He listened, and heard an ant-kingcomplain, why cannot folks, with their clumsy beasts, keep offour bodies. That stupid horse, with his heavy hoofs, has beentreading down my people without mercy. So he turned on to a sidepath and the ant-king cried out to him, we will remember you - onegood turn deserves another.The path led him into a wood, and here he saw two old ravensstanding by their nest, and throwing out their young ones.Out with you, you idle, good-for-nothing creatures, criedthey, we cannot find food for you any longer, you are big enough,and can provide for yourselves. But the poor young ravens layupon the ground, flapping their wings, and crying, oh, whathelpless chicks we are. We must shift for ourselves, and yet wecannot fly. What can we do, but lie here and starve. So thegood young fellow alighted and killed his horse with his sword,and gave it to them for food. Then they came hopping up to it,satisfied their hunger, and cried, we will remember you - one goodturn deserves another.And now he had to use his own legs, and when he had walked along way, he came to a large city. There was a great noise andcrowd in the streets, and a man rode up on horseback, cryingaloud, the king's daughter wants a husband, but whoever seeks herhand must perform a hard task, and if he does not succeed hewill forfeit his life. Many had already made the attempt, butin vain, nevertheless when the youth saw the king's daughterhe was so overcome by her great beauty that he forgot alldanger, went before the king, and declared himself a suitor.So he was led out to the sea, and a gold ring was thrown intoit, before his eyes, then the king ordered him to fetch thisring up from the bottom of the sea, and added, if you come upagain without it you will be thrown in again and again until youperish amid the waves. All the people grieved for the handsomeyouth, then they went away, leaving him alone by the sea.He stood on the shore and considered what he should do, whensuddenly he saw three fishes come swimming towards him, and theywere the very fishes whose lives he had saved. The one in themiddle held a mussel in its mouth, which it laid on the shoreat the youth's feet, and when he had taken it up and opened it,there lay the gold ring in the shell. Full of joy he took it tothe king, and expected that he would grant him the promised reward.But when the proud princess perceived that he was not her equalin birth, she scorned him, and required him first to performanother task. She went down into the garden and strewed with herown hands ten sacks-full of millet-seed on the grass, then shesaid, tomorrow morning before sunrise these must be picked up,and not a single grain be wanting.The youth sat down in the garden and considered how it mightbe possible to perform this task, but he could think of nothing,and there he sat sorrowfully awaiting the break of day, when heshould be led to death. But as soon as the first rays of thesun shone into the garden he saw all the ten sacks standing sideby side, quite full, and not a single grain was missing. Theant-king had come in the night with thousands and thousands ofants, and the grateful creatures had by great industry pickedup all the millet-seed and gathered them into the sacks.Presently the king's daughter herself came down into the garden,and was amazed to see that the young man had done the task shehad given him. But she could not yet conquer her proud heart,and said, although he has performed both the tasks, he shall notbe my husband until he has brought me an apple from the tree oflife. The youth did not know where the tree of life stood, buthe set out, and would have gone on for ever, as long as his legswould carry him, though he had no hope of finding it. After hehad wandered through three kingdoms, he came one evening to awood, and lay down under a tree to sleep. But he heard arustling in the branches, and a golden apple fell into his hand.At the same time three ravens flew down to him, perched themselvesupon his knee, and said, we are the three young ravens whomyou saved from starving, when we had grown big, and heard thatyou were seeking the golden apple, we flew over the sea to theend of the world, where the tree of life stands, and have broughtyou the apple. The youth, full of joy, set out homewards, andtook the golden apple to the king's beautiful daughter, who hadno more excuses left to make. They cut the apple of life in twoand ate it together, and then her heart became full of love forhim, and they lived in undisturbed happiness to a great age.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Kevin the Very Old Rabbit




Kevin the Very Old Rabbit was very old.
Believe it or not, he was 146 years old and his name was Kevin.
He had always been old. In fact, when he was born he had glasses and a long white beard, which greatly surprised his mother because she had perfect eyesight and no facial hair whatsoever. His dad was called Kevin the Extremely Old Rabbit, but he's not in this story.
Now, every Tuesday morning Kevin would drive to the post office in Swindon to collect his pension money. But today was no ordinary Tuesday morning for two main reasons. Firstly it was his birthday and secondly it was in fact Wednesday. This meant that he was actually 147 years old. The only problem was, he didn't know it! You see, because he thought it was Tuesday he thought that his birthday was not until tomorrow!
Anyway, he parked the car in the usual place - on double yellow lines opposite the police station. He turned on the radio and got out of the car. He never had the radio on when he was driving because he hated pop music.
Suddenly, a very watery thing happened. It started to rain. Not just a few drops, but whole bucketfuls. He ran to the bus shelter, but the bus shelter didn't have a roof so this didn't help. He'd forgotten to bring his umbrella and his fur was getting soaked.
So he looked around and saw a big shop called Umbrella World, just next door to Woolworths. When he ran into the shop he couldn't believe how many umbrellas were in there. There were millions and billions of them, neatly lined up on shelves.
The first one he looked at was made of silk with a gold handle, but this was too expensive. The next one was full of holes to let the rain through, which Kevin thought was a very silly idea. Then he saw a lovely yellow umbrella, covered in pictures of monkeys and tennis rackets. It cost just four pounds and ninety-nine pence so he took out his purse and bought it.
When he went outside he found that it had stopped raining, which was a good thing and a bad thing.
After looking at his watch he decided that he was probably hungry, so he crossed over the road to McDonalds. He bought a Big Mac, but threw the burger and bread roll into the bin because, being a rabbit, he only liked the lettuce.
Three and a half weeks later he got a letter from the boss of McDonalds. It said,
"Dear Mr. Very Old Rabbit
Congratulations! You have won a trip round the world on Concorde in our Ronald McDonald Spot the Difference competition. The plane leaves Heathrow airport at 8 o'clock tomorrow morning. Have a good time!
Love from Sir Malcolm Morris McDonald"
Unfortunately, Kevin couldn't read so he screwed up the letter and threw it into the dustbin. He thought it was probably a soppy love letter from Mildred Parker who used to fancy him at school.
A bit later that day, Kevin got a telephone call from Sir Malcolm Morris McDonald's secretary. She wanted to know if he was packed and ready to go on holiday. At first, Kevin thought it was Mildred Parker asking him if he was ready for a honeymoon. But after a while, the secretary, whose name was Gladys, explained all about the competition and how he had won a trip round the world on Concorde.
Kevin was very excited. He packed his suitcase with two jumpers, one pair of trousers, a clean pair of socks, a spare pair of shoelaces, nine pairs of pyjamas, a book, another book, some sunglasses, one more book and a cuddly toy.
Next day, he got up bright and early. He drove down the M4 motorway to Heathrow Airport and climbed on board Concorde. A nice lady called Air Stewardess gave him a cup of coffee and a chocolate biscuit. He didn't really like coffee, but drank it anyway because he didn't want to upset Air Stewardess.
At 8 o'clock the plane took off into the air and soared above the clouds. Concorde travels faster than the speed of sound, which is very fast indeed, so it took just three hours to reach the city of Washington. The first person that Kevin met was a man called Bill Clinton. He used to be the President of the United States of America, but not anymore. He took Kevin to lunch at the White House. They had fried lettuce with jam and chatted about their favourite cartoons. Kevin's favourite was Bugs Bunny and Bill Clinton's favourite was Scooby Doo.
At half past six Kevin was back on Concorde flying to Hollywood, which is where actors and actresses make films to show in the cinema. He was introduced to a man named Steven Spielberg, who has made very popular films such as E.T. and Jurassic Park.
Steven Spielberg was amazed to meet an English rabbit that could talk. He had been looking for a talking rabbit to appear in his next film, called Attack of the Bunnies. But Kevin didn't want to be an actor. He was a plumber and preferred tinkering about with taps and water pipes.
Kevin spent the night in a very expensive 5-star hotel. His room had a television with 49 channels and he stayed awake all night switching from one programme to the next.
When morning came he was so tired that he fell asleep. He missed breakfast, then he missed lunch, and then he missed tea. Worst of all, he missed his next flight on Concorde!
When he eventually woke up he caught a bus to the airport. But he was very disappointed when they told him that the plane had already gone. So he caught a bus to the harbour and got on board a very big passenger ship that was heading for Japan.
He was excited to find that he had his very own cabin with a bed and a porthole to look out of. There was a restaurant on the ship but there was a big problem with the food. The ship's crew had forgotten to load any food supplies onto the ship ... except for 600 sacks of broccoli. Now normal people don't like broccoli, but if you're a rabbit you'll find that broccoli is actually rather nice. So this was an ideal situation for Kevin - 600 sacks of broccoli and he was the only one on the ship who liked it. He ate 4 sacks straight away and decided to save the other 596 for later.
At ten past nine a big storm blew up and the ship sank. Luckily, Kevin had been sitting in one of the life-rafts at the time so he was quite safe. He steered the life-raft to the nearest desert island, which was small in size, round in shape, and had a palm tree sticking up in the middle. It also had one other thing - a lady that looked a bit like Mildred Parker. In fact, she looked so much like her that it was her. This was a very depressing development for Kevin. Stuck on a desert island with Mildred Parker.
Of course, Mildred was delighted to see Kevin and immediately wanted to kiss him. He quickly climbed up the palm tree to escape her clutches. But he didn't know that Mildred had once won an Olympic gold medal in gymnastics. Basically, this meant that she was very good at climbing trees, so she was quick to follow him.
Unfortunately, the palm tree was one of the weakest in the world, and it couldn't stand the combined weight of a 147-year old rabbit and a slightly chubby ex-gymnast. So the tree toppled over and both Kevin and Mildred landed with their heads in the sand and their legs sticking up in the air.
They were stuck on the island for many years. Kevin spent his time playing with a Monopoly set that he kept in his waistcoat pocket. He didn't know many of the rules, but he enjoyed passing Go and collecting 200 pounds. Mildred spent her time trying to count the grains of sand on the island. She got up to four billion, nine hundred and forty two million, six thousand, four hundred and twenty three, when Kevin threw a couple of grains into the sea and she had to start again.
The day after Kevin's 200th birthday a really great thing happened. A ship came and rescued them and took them back to Swindon.
They had been stranded on the desert island for more than 50 years and, do you know, something really nice happened during that time that I didn't tell you about. They fell in love!
So, soon after they arrived back in England they got married. They had two children and told them all about their adventure. A bit later, they decided to live happily ever after.

Monday, May 12, 2008

A Box Full of Kisses




The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy." The man was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found out the box was empty. He yelled at her, stating, "Don't you know, when you give someone a present, there is supposed to be something inside? The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and cried, "Oh, Daddy, it's not empty at all. I blew kisses into the box. They're all for you, Daddy."

Dads Blessings


A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautifully wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold. Angry, he raised his voice to his father and said "With all your money, you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the Bible.Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things.When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search through his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. And as he did, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words PAID IN FULL.

Mother’s day special


A man stopped at a flower shop to order some flowers to be wired to his mother who lived two hundred miles away. As he got out of his car he noticed a young girl sitting on the curb sobbing.He asked her what was wrong and she replied, "I wanted to buy a red rose for my mother.But I only have seventy-five cents, and a rose costs two dollars." The man smiled and said, "Come on in with me. I'll buy you a rose."He bought the little girl her rose and ordered his own mother's flowers. As they were leaving he offered the girl a ride home. She said, "Yes, please! You can take me to my mother." She directed him to a cemetery, where she placed the rose on a freshly dug grave.The man returned to the flower shop, canceled the wire order, picked up a bouquet and drove the two hundred miles to his mother's house.